Moonflower Read online

  ‘Goodbye, Sophie,’ he said. ‘Thanks for everything.’

  Sophie felt a stinging behind her eyes. She didn’t think her heart could experience so much pain without bursting. But she would not let him see it.

  ‘Go safely,’ she said quietly, without looking in his direction, and walked quickly from the house.

  Sophie did not return to the cottage until long after the sun had gone down. Then she showered, ate a cold supper she’d had delivered from the house and eventually went to bed, too exhausted to dream.

  She rose before the sun the next morning and had breakfast at her desk while she pored over her charts and spreadsheets.

  Then out she went to the veld with Sipho and Isaac. They erected the fencing for another orientation pen for the next consignment of animals due on the farm. Sophie put her back into the work, digging deep holes for support posts, mixing cement and wrestling the heavy poles into place.

  She returned to her office only after the sun had gone down and, again, had supper at her desk. After a brief shower she crawled into bed, every muscle in her body aching, and her mind an exhausted blank.

  She overslept the following morning, waking to the shrill of her alarm clock for the first time in many months. The sun already streamed into the cottage, and outside birds called to each other as a breeze stirred the curtains. Her first thought was of Reuben, her second that a group of five Cape Mountain Zebra were due to be delivered to the farm that morning and she was late.

  That afternoon, with the zebra settled in their orientation pen, Sophie discovered that one of her grid calculations was incorrect. It was time to pull herself together.

  But as much as she tried, the task defeated her.

  Sometimes she won for a morning or even a day, but then there’d be a reminder: his chair on the verandah, the place she’d first seen him as she’d stomped across the veld in her bra. The hikers’ cottage where they’d made love for the first time, the boma where he’d stood up for her against McTavish. Each time she heard the whoosh and squirt of the sprinklers on the lawn she was reminded of their assault on her, much to Reuben’s amusement, one hot summer afternoon. And she avoided the orchard at all costs, where they’d made love in the moonlight with a passion that still left her dizzy at the thought.

  Nights were a particular agony. There was only so much she could do to exhaust herself during the day. But there would always come a time when she would have to face the emptiness of her bed. She even woke sometimes thinking she could smell his scent on her pillow. Sure she could hear his footsteps on the creaking steps outside, waiting for the moment he would come through the door and slip into bed beside her.

  Sara encouraged her to eat her dinner at the house. Most of the time she declined.

  Mr Solomon tried to cheer her up by instructing Patience or Beauty to place fresh flowers in her bedroom. But it was a mistake. An earthenware pot of moonflowers had her doubled over at the edge of the bed, tears streaming down her face as their fragrance reminded her again of a room flooded with moonlight, every sense aflame with the taste of him, his touch, the scent of his skin and her overwhelming love for him.

  For the first time in her life, Sophie felt as if she were drowning in her own misery, and she looked for ways to claw herself up out of it again. But the more she cast around for some way to save herself, the more she seemed to long for him and the deeper she sank. Even resorting one desperate evening to an internet search for him.

  “Manning in new merger with asset management company,” the headlines screamed back at her. “Manning gives as good as he gets at gala fundraiser.” “Consolidated Investment Group posts favourable Q3 results.” “Manning firing on all cylinders.” “Tycoon attends world premier with friends…”

  It was silly of Sophie to have done this. It made her feel like a ragamuffin who’d crept up to the big house and pressed her nose against a window to watch all the beautiful people partying and feasting inside.

  She had hoped he’d contact her, but the phone remained stubbornly silent, at least where Sophie was concerned. She knew he called Rolf and Sara, but even these calls had become few and far between.

  To keep her sanity, Sophie phoned her flatmate and her mother often. It was good to hear about life outside the farm. It grounded her, gave her the strength to go on for another day.

  ‘Why don’t you come home for a visit?’ her mother encouraged her. ‘You sound as if you need a break, and I could do with a little female company, if you know what I mean. The men in this house are driving me crazy.’

  Her flatmate was more forthright. ‘Writing’s on the wall, Sophie. I’ve never heard you sound so miserable. I know you’ve fallen for the guy, but if it’s not going anywhere maybe now’s the time to the make the break. It’s never going to be easy, but the longer you leave it…’

  She was right. The longer she stuck around, putting herself through all this pain, the worse the final break was going to be.

  She asked to meet with Rolf and Sara that afternoon.

  ‘We thought you were happy here,’ Sara said. ‘You’ve settled in so nicely.’

  ‘And what about the research project Ben Duval’s proposed?’ Rolf asked.

  ‘I’ll speak to Ben and Caro myself,’ Sophie said, trying to ignore the tightness in her throat. ‘And I promise I won’t leave you or the animals in the lurch. I’ll stay on until a suitable replacement can be found. I’ll also put word out to my contacts. I know this doesn’t make sense, but my circumstances have changed, and please believe me when I say that I have to leave the farm.’

  Rolf and Sara agreed to her decision but were obviously unhappy about it.

  ‘You’ll let Reuben know I’m leaving?’

  Sara looked into Sophie’s eyes, sighed and nodded.

  Sophie thought he might call when he heard she had resigned; that the phone would ring and she’d hear his voice on the other end, asking her to stay, telling her that they’d find a way. But one day turned into another, then another, and there was no word. Sophie knew then that she’d made the right decision.

  On her last day at Labour’s End it rained in the morning.

  On her way to the kitchen for breakfast, Sara stopped her. ‘Reuben’s going to call this morning. Don’t leave before you’ve spoken to him, okay?’

  Sophie smiled and nodded, but she had no intention of speaking to Reuben. The very thought of a stilted thanks-for-all-your-help conversation was too ghastly to even contemplate.

  She’d already set her office to rights, and although they hadn’t yet found a conservationist to replace her, Alan Jeffries was on sabbatical and would take over until they found a replacement.

  The weather cleared as she drove along the farm’s dirt tracks; rain giving way to a thirsty sun that soaked up the moisture and lent a beautiful clarity to the air and colours of the bushveld. Sophie needed to take her leave of the farm in her own way.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Reuben glanced at his watch: 11:45. He had until midday.

  There’d been a last minute crisis to do with the merger he and Mark had been working on. A month of hard work saved at the last minute; deal in the bag. But it had delayed his departure by two days. Then his jet had taken off from Heathrow forty-five minutes later than scheduled because of heavy fog.

  Every frustrating delay, each crisis management meeting that meant he got to bed in the early hours of the morning, had convinced him of the rightness of his decision, and caused him to be even more resolute. He knew what he had to do. Damn thing was, everything seemed to be out to thwart his plans.

  At last, the car approached the gates of Labour’s End and with a quick wave they were through, racing along the road to the house.

  As soon as they came to a stop Reuben jumped out. He’d stripped off his blazer in the car. He worked loose the knot of his tie as he ran up the path and took the stairs two at a time.

  The tie was yanked off and discarded in the entrance hall as he crossed the room and headed
quickly down the passage. He burst into Sara’s office. She looked up, startled, from the pile of receipts on her desk.

  ‘Where is she, Sara?’ he asked, fearing that he was too late.

  ‘She should be at the cottage, collecting her bags,’ Sara said without missing a beat.

  ‘She will come back here to say goodbye, won’t she?’

  Sara shook her head. ‘She did that this morning.’

  Reuben spun around and headed back along the passage, flinging over his shoulder, ‘Good to see you again, Sara. We’ll catch up later.’

  He rushed to the back of the house. There was a short cut from the verandah to the cottage. He leapt down the stairs, raced across the lawn. When the cottage came into sight, his heart began to hammer in his chest. He knocked on the door. No answer.

  ‘Come on, Sophie,’ he muttered. ‘Open up.’

  He hammered again. No answer. Tried the door. It was open. Her bags were inside. Stacked neatly beside the bed. But there was no sign of Sophie.

  Reuben swore under his breath. This was not how he’d imagined it would go.

  He raced down the stairs and out to the garages, loosening his cuffs as he went, folding back the sleeves of his shirt.

  The storeroom and her office were empty. He found Sipho in the garages, speaking to Patience in what sounded like a low and seductive tone.

  ‘Mr Reuben,’ they both stammered.

  Patience was the first to recover, pulling herself up to her full height and regally lifting her turbaned head. ‘Can we help you, Mr Reuben?’

  ‘Oh God, I hope so,’ he said, running a hand through his hair. ‘I need to find Sophie. You know where she is?’

  ‘She took one of the Land Rovers out,’ Sipho said.

  ‘Thanks,’ Reuben called as he grabbed a set of numbered keys from the open strong box on the garage wall and headed for one of the smaller Land Rovers that would be faster and easier to manoeuvre along the dirt roads.

  But where to find her? He would try the hikers’ cottage first.

  He spun the vehicle in that direction, sending up a cloud of dust.

  Sophie wasn’t at the hikers’ cottage. Reuben looked at his watch again—11:55. She’d be heading back to the cottage by now to collect her bags. He should have stayed there, knowing she’d have to return. Damn!

  Reuben jumped back into the vehicle and hit the gas. A moment after passing an enormous guava tree, he spotted her standing in a clearing beside her vehicle, and for a moment was filled with doubt. Why hadn’t she been to the hikers’ cottage? He thought he’d find her there. It was the first place they’d made love. Was she over him? Had there been too many doubts for her; too much pain?

  He drove slowly up to the other vehicle and stopped. Sophie turned at the sound of the engine, and her lovely mouth dropped open at the sight of him. But she did not come to him. She looked more beautiful in that moment than she ever had. Gone were the khakis; she was dressed in blue jeans and a cream sleeveless blouse that swirled about her in the breeze. Her hair was loose and she tucked it impatiently behind her ears as it blew like a fiery cloud across her face.

  Reuben, all sweat-soaked shirt and dishevelled hair, took a step towards her but was stopped by the hardness in her voice.

  ‘Why did you come back?’

  He thought he saw something like pain flicker in her green eyes, but then it was gone, replaced by a harder, more resolute emotion.

  ‘You don’t think I’d let you go?’

  ‘What’s the point? Except to make this as difficult as possible, or assuage any guilt you might feel.’

  ‘Guilt?’ Reuben said, confused.

  Sophie covered the space between them, put her hands against his chest and shoved him.

  Reuben had never been shoved by a girl before; he was temporarily speechless.

  ‘Of course you’d have no guilt,’ she said. ‘You were always upfront with me. Never lied or deceived. That was good of you, Reuben. “This is all I can give you, Sophie. Only what we have now.” It’s my fault. Silly, naïve Sophie who thought she could punch above her weight.’ She shook her head.

  He watched her swallow and knew she was trying not to cry. He couldn’t stand to see her in such pain. He tried to take her hands but she pulled away.

  ‘Please go, Reuben,’ she implored him.

  ‘No, Sophie.’

  She fumbled in her pocket. The keys fell to the ground. She bent to pick them up and as she straightened, he caught her gently by the wrists. She struggled against his grasp but he wouldn’t let her go.

  ‘Stop it, Sophie. Just listen to me.’

  ‘There’s nothing you can say that I want to hear,’ she said, trying again to wrench her wrists from his grasp.

  ‘Then I won’t say anything, I’ll show you.’

  He let go of her wrists suddenly. His arms circled her back and he pulled her to him, bringing his mouth down to hers.

  Sophie was stunned to stillness for a moment, and then pulled back and shook her head. ‘You said: “I can’t let sex threaten everything I’ve worked so damned hard for.” That’s what you said to me the last time we spoke. Do you think I want to be a sexual distraction that threatens your life’s work? Some sort of addiction? Of course, not, Reuben, and that is why I must go.’

  She stepped away from him; held up a hand when he made as if to go to her. ‘Did Mr Solomon ever tell you about the moonflowers he’s been putting in our bedrooms?’

  Reuben frowned.

  ‘I thought there was something special about those flowers,’ Sophie told him. ‘Didn’t you feel intoxicated whenever you breathed in their scent? He told me that those magnificent pure white flowers give off their intoxicating scent only at night. They are the embodiment of the romance of night’s darkness. A siren song of narcotic sweetness used by traditional healers and diviners to draw you deep into sacred dreams. He told me that weak infusions of their leaves are used as an aphrodisiac, but if the dosage is wrong, they’re deadly poisonous. You’re my moonflower, Reuben.’

  Tears began to flow down her cheeks, although she didn’t make a sound. She shook her head, swiped at the tears on her cheeks, leaving a dirty streak, then she took one last look at him and began to walk away.

  ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Sophie.’ He flung these words at her back with what he hoped was all the cutting precision of a leopard dragging down its prey.

  She turned to face him. ‘No, I don’t think so, Reuben. I love you, but I won’t be your bit on the side.’

  Words that caused such sweet, devastating pain. ‘Sophie!’ A sound that was both longing and command. ‘Is that what you believe you are to me?’

  ‘I am a woman who exists only on an African farm. That is my world. It is not yours.’

  With that, she turned and began walking towards the vehicle. From the strength in her step he knew there was little he could say to turn her back this time.

  ‘Marry me, Sophie Kyle.’

  She had reached the vehicle; her hand hovered above the door handle. She was very still.

  He chose that moment to come up gently behind her. ‘Sophie,’ he whispered against her hair. Hoping the longing in his voice would convey all that was in his heart.

  Her voice was hesitant when she said, ‘You are joking with me.’

  ‘Never.’

  She turned slowly, and frowned up at him. He lifted her into his arms as if she were the lightest of things; held her against him so her feet dangled above the ground and she could not escape from him.

  ‘Why would you say something like that to me?’

  ‘I mean it, Sophie, my darling.’ Reuben was confused. He had expected a different homecoming. Something more joyous. Since Sara had called with the news a month ago that Sophie had tendered her resignation, he had been working hard to get back to her.

  ‘Just put me down for a minute,’ she told him.

  ‘Promise me you won’t run away again.’

  ‘Okay.’

  Reuben lowered h
er carefully to the ground. His fingers caressed her neck. He could not take his eyes off her skin that glowed gold in the midday sun. No matter how many times he’d recaptured her in his mind while he was away, he could never recreate the vitality of her skin, her eyes, her hair.

  ‘This doesn’t solve anything,’ Sophie told him.

  Reuben’s hand came to rest at the curve of her breast where he could feel her heart beating against his palm. ‘It solves everything.’

  She placed her hand over his, pressing it to her chest, and smiled at him sadly. ‘I would still be here, and you would be a world away. Even marriage would not bridge that gap.’

  ‘No challenge is ever that irrevocable. You don’t honestly think I’d offer marriage without a plan?’

  He could see it was Sophie’s turn to be confused.

  He frowned at her. ‘Perhaps I should take you to London, so you can see the kind of man I am when I make a decision. I never come to a conclusion, much less move, without careful consideration and a plan based on sound strategy.’

  ‘Your proposal is based on sound strategy?’ Sophie was no longer frowning. She looked utterly dumbfounded.

  ‘Yes!’ Reuben said.

  She held up a hand. ‘You’re going to have to explain this to me.’

  ‘Okay. I’ve spent the last month selling off non-essential assets and many of my subsidiaries. Consolidated Investment Group is a vastly scaled down version of its former self. Mark is more than ready to play a more senior role in the group, and I have every faith in him. Thanks to modern technology, I’ll be able to keep a finger on the pulse from Labour’s End, with the odd trip to the UK from time to time.’

  Sophie was silent for a moment, still staring up at him. ‘You did all that for me?’

  ‘Yes,’ Reuben said. Then he took her by the shoulders. ‘You are the wild creature who has driven me out of my mind with passion these past months, are you not, Sophie? How could you have doubted what we’ve experienced together? We are the lucky ones, don’t you see that? You don’t just give up on something this magical.’ He shook her gently.